Online dating for intelligent
” In the movie trailer, there would be a montage of the female lead belting out Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” as she danced around her apartment. And I didn’t want to disappoint them by not being Emily Dickinson — by being instead a real flesh-and-blood person, a non-recluse, a non-genius, and alive.Early on, a guy asked for my real-world profile and I sent it to him.She was a virgin, unmarried, and a recluse, but, man, was she talented.I wondered aloud to my friend began to wonder: How would Ms. Would a lovelorn poet, obsessed with death and privacy, be able to woo a modern man?We laughed, and then went on discussing our own dating disasters.For the next week or so, I went about my business as usual, but this Emily Dickinson idea wouldn’t go away. It would be an interesting art project, if nothing else.Did these men think the 19th-century photographs of Emily Dickinson I had posted were images of an actual living, breathing woman? Or were they just so desperate for sex or companionship that they emailed every profile they came across? They didn’t know my age, my weight, my gender, nothing.For all they knew, I could be an 80-year-old man or a group of thirteen-year-old girls or a really smart gorilla.
Several men gave me their phone numbers, even though they had never seen a photo of the real me. My profile contained two photographs of Dickinson, the only two in existence, although only one has been authenticated. Her Ok Cupid pictures did not include images of her cavorting on beaches. But my real Ok Cupid profile projected that image as well.” and “I don’t get it.” One 22-year-old guy questioned me about my profile pictures, two 19th-century photographs of Dickinson: But, for me, the most intriguing emails came from men who treated me like I was just an ordinary single lady, lookin’ for love. Every woman who has participated in online dating knows them.A man sends you an email that reads, “Hi, I’m John” or “Hi, I’d like to get to know you.” The messages aren’t offensive. A “Hi” message is equivalent to saying, “Hey, I didn’t read your profile and I don’t care about your brain or your personality, but we should go out sometime.”Emily got those emails as well, which I found really interesting. A friend and I were at lunch, discussing our frustrations with online dating, when I suddenly realized the ridiculousness of our conversation. I decided, right then, that I needed to do something to alter the course of our conversation.Here we were, two modern, educated women, and we had spent nearly two hours talking about our romantic relationships! Putting on my big-girl feminist cap, I said, “You know, there have been a lot of talented, amazing ladies, throughout history, who never coupled off.
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I didn’t want to be the sort of woman who spends her entire life talking about boys.