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Simon Hi Simon, Thank you so much for reading my blog and for your comment.I know so many of us can relate to your feelings…I hope you can forgive yourself at some point.As long as I can remember my parents have been feeding, bathing, brushing teeth, dressing, and moving my grandfather from place to place. He does not recognize any of us and is only responsive to music.Long story short, he has been on the decline for a very long time.In fact, with the aid of a walker, Mummy strides up and down the halls in her care center — sometimes for hours.When she is walking the halls, Mummy often appears to have a purpose and a destination in mind. Up close, it is immediately apparent Mummy is locked into a prison from which there is no parole.If anyone knows how tragic Alzheimer’s can be, it is my mother.
Time and again she told my sisters and me that she did not want to continue living if she had advanced memory loss. Although I’ve seriously pondered it, there is no legal way for me to help my mother die.Every day she seems to withdraw a little more, and I’m no longer sure she even knows I am her daughter. She now needs help with everything — even the most basic human functions.At this point, I believe she is simply existing in her body.While Mummy may not have major physical ailments, there is no doubt that she is suffering terrible mental anguish.Alzheimer’s has wiped away most of her brain, including her memories, personality and ability to communicate.
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I’ve learned that caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is filled with regret that lasts long after the person dies.